Coming Back to Life

After a seven week hiatus in the US and an even longer break from blogging, I'm finally back! I'm hoping in the second year of my term to be more faithful with blogging. I'm back in more ways than this however. This is the first time that I've ever lived overseas and come back. Before I spent several month s in a country and then left, never returning even for a visit. This time, it's entirely different. I've just spent a year in Rwanda and now I've come back from holiday for another two years.

Coming back made the most difference to the children and to me. I made sure when I left that I told all the children that I'm friendly with that I was leaving but that I would come back. And I kept my word. That has made all of the difference. Though it's inevitable that one day I will leave permanently, I did come back when I said I'd come back. To kids that's important. But I'm surprised of how important it's been to me. It's made my decision to live and minister in Rwanda much more final. Not that I would have acted on any thoughts to leave in my first year, but the first year felt much more temporary...as if there might be an escape hatch after that first year to go home and stay home. But I went home, had a great visit and came back. it's made my decision to pack up my life and make a new one in Rwanda just that much more final.... and truly, it's a positive feeling!

I had a dream last night that I was in a conversation with my boss in Randa. he was telling me that unfortunately I was going to be placed somewhere else and it was time for me to leave Rwanda. In my dream I distinctly told him, "But I'm not ready to leave Rwanda yet." my dreams match my true feelings. In the beginning of my first term everything was quite difficult. Often I fantasized about going home. I knew I'd never act on those feelings, but at times it's definitely what I wanted to do. Yet now that I've spent a full year in Rwanda, have been to the other side (home) and have come back, I'm excited about what possibilities lie ahead. There's so much that I feel I can help with and contribute to. And though a year a go I'd never thought I'd say it, but I'm really not ready to leave Rwanda yet.

So what am I ready for? I'm ready for more days like Monday.

Last Monday I went with a group of my colleagues out to the village of Mbuye. They were conducing a Cascade group training session with volunteer leaders. I went to see the lessons that I planned in action. I wanted to see how the lessons were understood and how my colleagues presented the information to the leaders. What I saw, but even more what I experienced was amazing! Remy and Clemence are fabulous teachers. They had the group laughing, talking and interacting. The volunteer leaders were so motivated an interested in the information presented.

Afterwards I was able to re-connect with a Pastor I had worked with during a Sunday school teacher training. At his suggestion we all went out to eat brochettes. It was so wonderful to just have a laid back time to connect with my colleagues. There's something about sharing food together away from the office and the demands of our ministry that is refreshing. Though I'd never willingly choose to eat three goat brochettes doused in hot sauce under any circumstances, if it meant connecting with my colleagues the way we did last Monday, I'd eat a hundred more!

I'm ready for more days like Tuesday. Tuesday after work I took a coloring book out to the kids in my neighborhood and we sat on the grass and colored together. What fun! My guard Jean Paul joined us and it was so touching to see the kids' delight and his interest in them. Like any good teacher or parent he looked at all of their pictures and complimented them. He also helped me keep the crayons where they were supposed to be. (Not back at the kids' houses!) It was a wonderful time, visited by many neighbors and friends from the neighborhood. I love making kids here smile!

I'm ready for more days like yesterday. Rwanda is full of wonderful and very motivated volunteers. I've had the opportunity since I've gotten back to get acquainted with another VSO volunteer, Vanessa. Yesterday we went to the Rwandan trade expo in Kigali, where we got to see displays and buy products from manufacturers and cooperatives all around Rwanda and other African countries. Better than the fabulous crafts was the opportunity to make another friend in Rwanda.

I've come back to life, to Rwanda, to my real life as it is right now. Coming back, I've realized that my life truly is in this tiny African country in one of the farthest corners of the world. I've built and will continue building relationships here. Though I enjoyed being home immensely and have my closest relationships and connections in the US, returning to Rwanda has made me realize that my life, my real life is here. And that's not a bad realization at all.