Trusting God - Be Careful of What you Pray For!

I find that my faith is taking a new shape here. Some time ago when I was in New Jersey still and struggling through my relationship with Christ I prayed something to the effect of: “Dear God, help me to understand and know what it means to trust you.” Be careful of what you pray for.

I find that I’m beginning to learn what trust means here in Rwanda but it’s not at all in the grand and glorious ways that I expected. Instead I’m learning more to trust Christ for my daily needs and for the next five minutes. More and more I find my prayers going something like this, “Lord, I’m scared to death to take this motorcycle taxi. But I know you’ve called me here and I trust that you will keep me safe. Please bring me to this church without harm.” or, “Lord, I don’t know how in the world I’m going to find the bus that I need to get on to go to this meeting in Kigali. Please show me the way or bring me someone who will help me.” or, “Lord, please keep me safe as I walk home. I know you are capable of bringing me to my house without any harm coming to me.”

Everything is unfamiliar, everything. Some days as I walk back and forth to my Kinyarwanda lessons, or to the market or to my home, there is no one I can talk to, except God. No one would understand me. But as I’m beginning to see, God is able and willing to take care of me and to meet my needs. Often they are needs that span only for the next five to ten minutes. And I find that it is only Christ who can meet those needs. At home I would know what to do in order to meet my own needs: I’d get on MapQuest and get directions to my meeting, or I’d drive my own car so I wouldn’t have to walk in the dark or take a motorcycle to a meeting. But here that’s just not possible. I’m not able to meet my own needs in the ways that I was at home. And in reality, that’s a blessing in disguise. For the first time, I’m having to give up some of my obsessive need for control and to meet my own needs and I have to rely on God and others.


I know that God brought me here for a purpose: He has called me to be a blessing to Rwandan children. Yet, I suspect He has also brought me here to help me to understand what it means to trust in and rely on Him.