Random Lists - Installment One

I'm trying to get my creative writing juices flowing before I begin writing Sunday school teacher training modules. So every morning that's a writing day, I’ve decided to write a short blog post. A way to flex the creative writing muscle I suppose!

So here is installment one in what I hope to be a series of comical and informative, if not random blog posts!

The Unexpected Benefits of Living in Rwanda

1. I’ve become a much more direct communicator. Because of communication gaps and difficulties, in a country that’s surprisingly non-direct, sometimes I have to communicate so directly, it’s almost painful for me. There’s no sugar coating anything or hoping that you can non-verbally or subtly communicate anything….you just sometimes have to say it like it is!

2. I’m much more assertive. I was once told years ago by the principal of the private school I worked at in Chicago that I needed to become more assertive. Well, check that one off the list. Here in Rwanda, I’ve become much more assertive. Maybe it’s the fact that I can say things to people that I know they won’t understand in English or the fact that sometimes I’m marginalized and disregarded as a woman, but either way, I’ve definitely become more assertive!

3. I’ve learned to do nothing. Years ago when I was going through counseling, working through a couple of spiritual issues, my Biblical counselor suggested that I was obsessed with performing and was unable to do nothing. He gave me an assignment for two weeks to do nothing for 15 minutes daily. That was so difficult back then! Now, not so much! Some evenings in Rwanda there’s nothing to do and quite honestly, it's easy to do next to nothing. I’ve definitely slowed down from the pace of full time business employee, part time graduate school student and part time employee at my church. Most times, it’s a welcomed slow down!

4. I have a fictitious husband! – Well, I’ve never actually outright lied on this one, but I’ve begun wearing a wedding band that causes many to think that I have a husband. It cuts down on the perfect strangers asking me numerous questions about my marital status that I just get tired of answering.

1. A great farmer’s tan – I had such a noticeable farmer’s tan that I can look at the family shot of my brother’s wedding from this summer and SEE my tan lines!

2. Longer hair than I’ve had in five years – It’s next to impossible to get a good haircut here, so my hair is longer now than it’s been in many years! Looking forward to donating it to Locks of Love when I come home for a visit this fall.

1. Strengthened Relationships Back Home – Raising support and attempting to be a good communicator on the mission field has actually strengthened a lot of my relationships at home. I’ve reconnected with people that I’ve lost touch with and have been so encouraged by how many people at home are praying for me and seek to encourage me. It’s such a blessing!

2. Increased Thankfulness – I went to primary and secondary school and even got the opportunity to graduate from University. Though money was sometimes tight for my family, we never missed a meal and I always had clothes to wear and shoes to put on my feet. So many people that I meet here don’t have access to these simple blessings and necessities. It’s made me much more thankful for everything that God has blessed me with.

A

A New Church and Small Group

As many of you know, finding ways to "get fed" in ways that I understand are really difficult for me here. Understanding what's going on in an entirely Kinyarwanda church service is very difficult and navigating and appreciating the very different worship styles and preferences is a whole different ball game.

That's why I've been excited to find a church service to attend in English in Kigali. I've had the opportunity to worship a few times at Christ Church Rwanda. Their sermons are English, but their worship songs are in English, Kinyarwanda and Swahili. The people are very friendly and it's been nice to understand worship again! Even better, their service is later in the morning (10:00) so I don 't have to be on a 7 AM bus from Kigali or stay overnight in the capital. I'm so thankful to have found a good place to worship!

My plan is to spend the bulk of my time each month worshipping at Christ Church Rwanda in Kigali. However, I've been invited by a local church here in Gitarama, to join one of their small group fellowships. So, every second Sunday, I'll be worshipping at the Methodist Church in Gitarama and attending their small group fellowship after church.

I feel like this church "combination" is the best of both worlds. I am able to worship and get re-charged in a language that I understand, yet still be involved in a Rwandan church and get to know more Rwandans and have fellowship with them.

I'm really excited to attend my first small group meeting the second week in February!

Promised Pictures from Year in Review

Using a pick axe Monthly CDP Meeting Tandy and "Auntie Lion"

2010 Christmas Card

Colorful Frames Christmas

Shop Shutterfly for elegant custom Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Being Schooled by a Twelve Year Old

“Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

I’ve had the opportunity to have two conversations with a delightful twelve year old in here in Rwanda named Diana. This little girl is absolutely remarkable. First of all, her English is amazing. Most adults that I talk to on a day to day basis don’t have the English level that this twelve year old girl has. This from a girl who is educated at the local primary school where teachers make approximately $60 a month and her class is 43 children in size.

She’s also wise beyond her years. She’s the oldest of five children in her family (Yay for firstborns!) and is so outgoing and sweet. She struck up a conversation with me on the road about a month ago by saying, “Excuse me, I’d like to ask you a question.” Then she launched into a mini interview, even asking me about what I do for work. When I explained what I do she remarked, “That’s very good work.” What twelve year old asks you about what you do?

Well I ran into Diana again today and I do believe it was providential. I received some difficult and angering news from home that I just wasn’t happy about. I was and still am struggling with my anger at the key player in the situation and struggling even with my attitude against God. I’ve been asking myself all day why God just doesn’t give my parents a break. They’ve had a really rough go of it the last five years and unfortunately it doesn’t ever seem to stop. I was mulling over these thoughts and other vengeful thoughts about the key player in the situation when I ran into Diana.

“Hello,” she piped up, startling me greatly since I was so lost in angry thoughts. “Do you remember me?”

“Sure ,” I said. “You’re Diana, right? How could I forget you since your English is the best I’ve heard from a girl your age?” This comment brought a smile to her face. “How is school?” I asked.

“School is good,” she said. “I have been studying very hard and have received good marks on my exams.”

“You must be first in your class,” I commented.

“Yes, I am,” she said. “I was very worried that I wasn’t going to do well on my exams but I prayed a lot to God for his help and he helped me. I always tell my friends at school that you must pray to God about the things that you worry about and He will help you.”

When she said that it resonated to my core. Here I was (and still am) worrying and stewing about a situation at home that really, I have very little control over. I’m angry, upset, tense and blaming the key player of the situation. And while all of these are legitimate emotions, I haven’t done what this beautiful twelve year old girl, in her childlike faith has learned to do. I haven’t given my worries over to God and asked for His help believing that He will help my family. I certainly am not going out and telling all my friends that, “you must pray to God about the things that you worry about and He will help you.” Because I’m not sure that I always believe that God can help. I don’t have the childlike faith of this twelve year old.

Instead I have the faith of an adult. The faith that writes contingency plans, and does internet research and thinks over every possible worst case scenario in her mind and tries to plan for it. The adult that tries to micro-manage every situation and be a “fixer.” I like fixing problems. It’s probably why I’m in the development field now. I like helping people and being involved in desperate situations. But I sometimes wonder if all this “fixing” and “helping” points the adultness, lack of faith and idolatry in my heart. I’m trying to do God’s job for Him.

I wonder what would happen when I finally let go and became as a child? What would happen when I stopped trying to do God’s job for Him and simply trusted and believed in Him? This is what Diana does.

Lord make me like this beautiful, wise child.

My Rwandan "Family"

I'm so excited to now have been here for a year and to have built relationships and friendships here. Now while every day has its ups and downs (this morning was a down) overall I'm excited about what God is doing here in Rwanda, the amazing work that my colleagues are doing, the friendships I'm building here and how God allows me to take part in it all. I'm building a "family" even though my real family is far from here.



Take Art Club and my friend Eric for example. Becky, my former housemate started Art Club in our home in our old neighborhood. It really helped in forming relationships with the kids and their parents and was a really fun way to connect with the kids. When Becky left I kept it up with Emmanuel, my day guard who's really gifted at art. After we moved, the Art Club was forced to relocate since our new house is a half hour walk from our old neighborhood. (And we do have some two year olds that come from time to time!) So we re-located to a storefront, owned by our neighbor Eric, that had an awning to protect us from the sometimes unpredictable weather. It's amazing how fast a rainstorm can stir up here in Rwanda!



To my dismay, I returned from the States to see that Eric had followed the edict handed down by local authorities to rebuild his storefront. Now following government edicts is not a bad thing, except for the fact that his re-building left us without the lovely awning and cement floor that we used for our Art Club. So, to date, we haven't met for Art Club because of the lack of meeting space. Then last week I stopped into the old neighborhood to visit the kids and Eric hailed me into his bar for a Fanta.


There commenced the most interesting "melange" of English, French and Kinyarwanda conversation. Though I wasn't sure I understood everything Eric said I was sure that he said I should feel that at home and that his home was open and welcome to me. I also thought I understood that it was important that I still meet with the children and it would be no problem for me to meet with the children inside his small attached restaurant seating area.



Incredulous that Eric would offer his restaurant area for me to meet with the children and hold Art Club, I sent Emmanuel to talk to him this week. Indeed, Eric did say that we could meet in his restaurant area until the rest of his re-building is completed. Then once it's complete he would give me a key to the store area where the kids and I could meet inside. For Rwanda, this is really no small thing.



That Eric would offer the use of his restaurant seating area means that he could lose possible patrons for an hour or so. In a country where people are dependent upon every franc they can earn this is a big deal. Also, that Eric would be willing to trust me with a key to his store is not a small thing in Rwanda. This is a country where people aren't always prone to trust one another....for obvious historical reasons. That he would trust me enough to have access to his store....that's a big deal.



Eric's trust of me makes me realize that he really does want me to consider his home as mine. His requests for me to come and visit the children and still do Art Club with them make me realize that he cares for his community and their children. I definitely will feel at home when I'm at Eric's knowing that he is a brother who cares as much for the children I am privileged to work with as I do.



Or take Marie as another example. Marie is a lovely single mother in my old neighborhood who struggles to meet her special needs child and herself. She works hard, yet it seems that ends never meet for her. I paid her a visit after I returned from Rwanda and her son who hadn't seen me in two months was terrified of me. (It's definitely not uncommon for small children in Rwanda to be scared of white people.) She kept repeating over and over again to Jean Paul that I was his aunt. His aunt! That would make Marie and I sisters and Jean Paul my nephew. Her pronouncement to Jean Paul touched me at my core. I really do have Rwandan family! I have many children that I consider my nieces and my nephews in the US that really aren't but to have them in Rwanda.....well, that's special!

Or take the three "cherubs" as I call them at the top of my hill. Leticia, Aline, Marine and Patrick are brother and sisters who live in the most ramshackle mud bricked house in our neighborhood. There's no contest....they are the poorest family in our neighborhood. Yet, their children have touched my heart bless me from day to day like no other children. Almost every morning I am greeted my the three who in addition to wanting to be swung in the air will sing-songy greet me with, "Karine Wanjye" which in Kinyarwanda means "my Karine". Then the girls sing this little song that I made up with them which says our rhyming names together, "Aline, Marine, Karine." It's precious. God hasn't blessed me with children yet. I'm confident that He will someday. But until then, I truly believe He puts children into my life that I can consider as my own. My song to the four should be, "Leticia, Aline, Marine and Patrick Wanjye."

I may not have "real" family in Rwanda. But I am increasingly seeing how God is blessing me from day to day with those that I am growing to consider my family: Eric, a brother, Marie, a sister, Jean Paul a nephew and Leticia, Aline, Marine and Patrick, my "adopted" children. God is good!

Coming Back to Life

After a seven week hiatus in the US and an even longer break from blogging, I'm finally back! I'm hoping in the second year of my term to be more faithful with blogging. I'm back in more ways than this however. This is the first time that I've ever lived overseas and come back. Before I spent several month s in a country and then left, never returning even for a visit. This time, it's entirely different. I've just spent a year in Rwanda and now I've come back from holiday for another two years.

Coming back made the most difference to the children and to me. I made sure when I left that I told all the children that I'm friendly with that I was leaving but that I would come back. And I kept my word. That has made all of the difference. Though it's inevitable that one day I will leave permanently, I did come back when I said I'd come back. To kids that's important. But I'm surprised of how important it's been to me. It's made my decision to live and minister in Rwanda much more final. Not that I would have acted on any thoughts to leave in my first year, but the first year felt much more temporary...as if there might be an escape hatch after that first year to go home and stay home. But I went home, had a great visit and came back. it's made my decision to pack up my life and make a new one in Rwanda just that much more final.... and truly, it's a positive feeling!

I had a dream last night that I was in a conversation with my boss in Randa. he was telling me that unfortunately I was going to be placed somewhere else and it was time for me to leave Rwanda. In my dream I distinctly told him, "But I'm not ready to leave Rwanda yet." my dreams match my true feelings. In the beginning of my first term everything was quite difficult. Often I fantasized about going home. I knew I'd never act on those feelings, but at times it's definitely what I wanted to do. Yet now that I've spent a full year in Rwanda, have been to the other side (home) and have come back, I'm excited about what possibilities lie ahead. There's so much that I feel I can help with and contribute to. And though a year a go I'd never thought I'd say it, but I'm really not ready to leave Rwanda yet.

So what am I ready for? I'm ready for more days like Monday.

Last Monday I went with a group of my colleagues out to the village of Mbuye. They were conducing a Cascade group training session with volunteer leaders. I went to see the lessons that I planned in action. I wanted to see how the lessons were understood and how my colleagues presented the information to the leaders. What I saw, but even more what I experienced was amazing! Remy and Clemence are fabulous teachers. They had the group laughing, talking and interacting. The volunteer leaders were so motivated an interested in the information presented.

Afterwards I was able to re-connect with a Pastor I had worked with during a Sunday school teacher training. At his suggestion we all went out to eat brochettes. It was so wonderful to just have a laid back time to connect with my colleagues. There's something about sharing food together away from the office and the demands of our ministry that is refreshing. Though I'd never willingly choose to eat three goat brochettes doused in hot sauce under any circumstances, if it meant connecting with my colleagues the way we did last Monday, I'd eat a hundred more!

I'm ready for more days like Tuesday. Tuesday after work I took a coloring book out to the kids in my neighborhood and we sat on the grass and colored together. What fun! My guard Jean Paul joined us and it was so touching to see the kids' delight and his interest in them. Like any good teacher or parent he looked at all of their pictures and complimented them. He also helped me keep the crayons where they were supposed to be. (Not back at the kids' houses!) It was a wonderful time, visited by many neighbors and friends from the neighborhood. I love making kids here smile!

I'm ready for more days like yesterday. Rwanda is full of wonderful and very motivated volunteers. I've had the opportunity since I've gotten back to get acquainted with another VSO volunteer, Vanessa. Yesterday we went to the Rwandan trade expo in Kigali, where we got to see displays and buy products from manufacturers and cooperatives all around Rwanda and other African countries. Better than the fabulous crafts was the opportunity to make another friend in Rwanda.

I've come back to life, to Rwanda, to my real life as it is right now. Coming back, I've realized that my life truly is in this tiny African country in one of the farthest corners of the world. I've built and will continue building relationships here. Though I enjoyed being home immensely and have my closest relationships and connections in the US, returning to Rwanda has made me realize that my life, my real life is here. And that's not a bad realization at all.

Orphans, Jean Pierre Jr. and Sr.

Christmas was full of pleasant surprises. We were able to spend so much time with our Rwandan friends and adopted family here. In many ways I feel like my family has grown this year in spite of the fact that I am 7500 miles from home!

On Christmas morning we were able to go to the children’s home and spend time with the kids, watch their Christmas presentations and hand out gifts. I’m sure none of you are surprised to find out that I held a baby for a good part of the entire celebration. I’m beginning to think “Mama”, the 80 year old woman who runs the home is going to have to frisk me on my way out to make sure I’m not taking a baby with me.

The biggest blessing of Christmas was spending the afternoon eating lunch with Jean Pierre and his dad Jean Pierre, Sr. I am almost certain that they are the poorest family in our old neighborhood. His dad is a mason, which means he is a day laborer and most likely only earns about a dollar a day. It was completely humbling to be invited to share a meal with a family who has so little. Their house is little more than a mud walled shack with almost no furniture except three chairs, a coffee table and a mattress on the floor. Yet in spite of all that, both Jean Pierre and his dad were the consummate hosts, making sure that Becky and I felt welcomed and comfortable. To have this family generously share with us is humbling and a reminder of how freely I should be sharing and extending hospitality to those around me. I have never had such a special Christmas meal served in the sacrificial spirit of our Savior who sacrificed so much when he came to Earth as a tiny baby. This past Christmas, the holiday took on a new meaning for me that I won’t easily forget.

Photos of My Life

My life is certainly never boring! The following are some highlights of the last five months, with photos to be added (when the internet cooperates!)

Visit out to Takwe - Being with CDP children in their homes and seeing them meet their US sponsors for the first time was priceless. It's amazing the bonds that can be formed through child sponsorship. I highly recommend it!

Sunday School Teacher Training in Gisanga/Mbuye

Being with the GPCC team in Gisanga/Mbuye was great! I was able to see the potential for a comprehensive Sunday school teacher training program in all CDP communities. I love to see excited Children's Ministry workers!

Alpha Training Course

The beginning of September saw my first trip outside of Rwanda to Bujumbura to take part in an Alpha training course. It was excellent to be with the body of Christ global and to see peoples' hearts to reach their friends and neighbors all over East Africa. I plan to use some of their principles of discussion and prayer in my trainings.

My "Funny T-Shirt" Birthday Party

I love throwing theme parties, so this year was no exception. I invited my friends here for an afternoon of fun and games and asked them to wear their funniest T-shirts from the market. We played crazy bowling with water bottles, pin the slogan on the t-shirt and Truth or Dare Jenga. Some of the gems of t-shirts from the party included:

Cranky but adorable so I'm worth it! (mine)

Hogs breath is better than no breath at all!

Be thankful I'm not your kid!

Talk, dark and Italian, what's not to love!

Umuganda

Rwanda has a very effective system of community service called Umuganda. Each last Saturday of the month, community members from each sector come and perform community service like digging drainage ditches or planting trees. Becky and I have taken part on several occasions and have really enjoyed it! Not only do I get to meet more of my neighbors, but at the end of the work time, we attend a community meeting. I learn so much about the concerns of our community and what is going on at the meetings. I really enjoy Umuganda and would love to see it introduced in the US.

Visiting Saturday Sunday School in Gikomero

I've had the privilege of getting to know the pastor of an Anglican church in Gikomero. Pastor Martin is so innovative and passionate and runs a great children's program in his community. I had the opportunity to go out and visit one Saturday and had the best time! The children dance when singing praises to God and are so enthusiastic and well behaved. (I think they could teach a thing or two to kids in America!)

Primary Teacher Training at Paroisse St. Andre

Another Saturday I had the opportunity to go and train primary teachers at a Catholic school just down the road in Gitarama. I was able to teach them many interactive games that they could put to use in their classrooms using supplies you can find easily like sticks, string and stones. We had a great time and I was excited to hear the teachers' plans of how they will use these games in their classroom.

Akagera National Park

In November, Becky and I had the opportunity to visit the game park in Rwanda. Though not as big as ones in Kenya or Uganda, it's still fabulous! We saw giraffes, water buffalo, hippos, gazelles, monkeys and baboons! The best part of it was traveling around the park in a broken down mini-bus while the rest of the tourist traveled around in beautiful 4X4 vehicles. It definitely made for a better story and proved that we weren't just tourists!

Art Club

In late October Becky also started Art Club at our house. Each Wednesday at 4pm, the children come and we do an art project together. It's a great way to practice Kinyarwanda as well as get to know the children better. I love getting to spend this time with them!

Visits

Since the children get to visit us now at least once a week, they've taken to inviting us over to their homes to meet their families. Becky and I have gotten to visit several of the children at home and it has been both an eye-opening and sweet experience. To see the way these children live on a daily basis is a reminder to me of how blessed I am. I am continually amazed at the fact that though these children don't have much their lives are filled with joy despite their lack of material possessions. I really enjoy getting to know the children and their families!

Audrey's First Birthday Party

My Kinyarwanda teacher's daughter just turned one at the end of October! Her parents threw a huge party for her and invited me. As the only Muzungu, it was a bit daunting to be surrounded by rapid fire Kinyarwanda, but it was great fun to get to meet Denise and Claude's friends and family and get insight into Rwandan celebrations.

My first Baby Naming

One of my co-workers recently had a baby and invited Christi and I to the baby naming. It's an intricate tradition where children eat certain foods and all the children and adults present give their suggestions for names. The parents then choose a name from the ones given or one they have already picked out. Names are a very big deal here and they will often tell you the meaning of the name they picked. I am so glad that I got to take part in such an important Rwandan tradition.

Sunday School Teacher Training in Gikomero

I thoroughly enjoyed doing my first teacher training in Gikomeron on November 14th! We had a great time together learning how to write lesson plans, teach Sunday school lessons and play creative and interactive review and memory verse games! I can't wait to share with other Sunday school teachers all around Rwanda how they can creatively share the love of God with children.

Gorillas

The biggest tourist attraction in Rwanda is the Silverback Mountain Gorillas. In November a group of girls and I hiked up to see them. After a two hour hike, we got to spend an hour with them. They are amazing animals. To see the children play and the mothers interact with the babies was priceless. It was a once in a lifetime experience that I won't soon forget, especially since it poured down rain on the way back and we slipped and slid through two inches of mud!

What's in a Name

I love writing Sunday school curriculum! I'm almost finished with the curriculum and I've really enjoyed writing each lesson. I can't wait to get it translated and into the hands of Rwandan Sunday school teachers!

October Blog Posts

Our Thirteen Year Old Bodyguard

One of the joys of living in my neighborhood are the children. They are phenomenal! We spend lots of time playing and chatting (or trying to) together. By far, one of my favorite kids is Jean Pierre. Whenever you see Jean Pierre he is always in the same green sweater and khacki shorts. He lives with his dad in a tiny two room house in our neighborhood. They have a tough life yet we usually hear Jean Pierre before we even see him because he’s singing…either to us or just singing in general. Sometimes he sings a little “Rebecca, Karine” song when he sees us because he’s happy to see us that day.

Jean Pierre is the consummate gentleman who always wants to take care of Rebecca and me. He had us over to visit the other day and sitting on the table in his house were two cokes. He and his dad barely eke out a living yet he bought us cokes. Pretty humbling. He also takes pleasure in being our “protector”. Tonight we met him on our road and he walked us partway back to our house.

He’s also great at crowd control. He shoos the kids from our courtyard when we want them to leave and always stays behind after art club to help clean up. When we were on our visit last week we told him in a mixture of expert French (Becky’s) and rudimentary Kinyarwanda (mine) that we really appreciate that unlike the other children he’s not always saying to us, “Ndashaka” which means I want. Most of the other children every time they see us tell us they want a balloon, or candy, or a piece of chalk or cookies (all things we’ve been known to give them from time to time.) Not Jean Pierre. He’s never asked us for anything…except to spend time with us. Last Thursday the kids were in playing in our courtyard. When it was time to leave they all were shaking our hands and Jean Pierre was staying behind making sure that they left. One little girl as she was leaving said, “Ndashaka imipiriso” which means, “I want a balloon.” Jean Pierre said in his sternest voice, “Oya ndashaka” (No, I want!) “Murakose” (say thank you.) It was absolutely priceless!

I’m sure you can understand why Jean Pierre is one of my most favorite children!

Juck, Juck, Juice and Simon Says

Last Thursday we had some of the children in to play games in our courtyard. I decided to teach them how to play Duck, Duck Goose. All was going well except for the fact that the kids couldn’t say Duck, Duck Goose very well. Instead it came out sounding like, “Juck, Juck, Juice.” Too cute!

Then when “Juck, Juck, Juice” got a little too rough I decided to teach them how to play Simon Says. I tried to explain in my best Kinyarwanda that they were only supposed to do what I told them when I said, “Simon Says.” So we began. I said, “Simon says touch your head. Simon says touch your shoulder, Simon says touch your knees. Touch your head.” And wouldn’t you know, every kid touched their head. So I explained, “No, no, don’t do the action when I don’t say “Simon Says,”.

“Ohhhh,” the kids all responded in unison.

Then we began again. “Simon says touch your ears, Simon says touch your eyes, Simon says touch your nose, touch your mouth.” Again, every single kid touched their mouth. “No, no,” I explained. “Simon didn’t say to touch your mouth.”

“Ohhh,” the kids all responded in unison. “Simon didn’t say.”

“Surely,” I thought. “They can’t get it wrong a third time.” “Simon says touch your elbows, Simon says jump up and down, Simon says hop on one foot. Turn around.” And again, every single kid turned around.

“No, no, no, Simon didn’t say,” I explained yet again.

“Ohhh,” came the kids united response.

I finally gave up!

September Blog Postings

September 5, 2009 - Observations from Church at Urukundo Home for Children

For a lot of my life church has been, well, let’s just say, “difficult.” Without opening the proverbial can of worms on my blog, I’ll just say that it was because of sin within the church collective, and my sinful response. But then things changed when God brought healing to my life through a wonderful church home. It took years, and it wasn’t right away, but God softened my heart to his body. Though never once through all of the heartache and years of difficult church experiences did I completely give up on God’s people, the simple act of going to church and taking part in worship was more of a duty and a challenge than a joy. That was until three years ago when God changed my heart and I was finally able to give myself wholeheartedly to a local body.

Since arriving in Rwanda two months ago, I’ve been worshipping mainly at the Urukundo Home for Children. Though I love the simplicity of the service and seeing the children’s enthusiasm in worship, I’ve been missing my church home more than I expected. Today was evidence of that. A visiting lay person served communion using much of the liturgy that I’m used to. The familiarity, beauty and symbolism in taking the sacrament brought tears to my eyes, as did saying the Lord’s Prayer. I was shocked at how much I longed to worship God in a language and a format that I’m familiar with, rather than straining to hear a translator or sitting through numerous songs that I only know every 10th or 20th word. I found myself yearning to be a wholehearted part of a local church body. That was a yearning that four years ago, I never thought I’d experience.

Please pray for me. Pray that I am able to strike a balance between visiting churches to learn more about the Rwandan church and its ministry to children for my job, and becoming a regular part of a church body. Pray that I am able to find an English service that I can attend from time to time so I am able to be fed spiritually in my mother tongue. Please pray also that I am able to become a part of a local Rwandan church and build relationships. I do long to again be able to give myself wholeheartedly to the local church.

With that said however, worshipping at Urukundo has been an incredible blessing that has taught me so much. Each week one of the children and then an adult speaker “preaches” a sermon. We sing hymns and choruses together, mainly in Kinyarwanda, and the childrens’ choirs perform. They conclude the service with a time of testimony and praise to God. Without fail, each week, one of the children gives public praise to God that He brought them all through the week and none of them died. In all of my years of working with and ministering to children in the US, I have never, ever heard one of them give praise to God that they were still alive. It gives me pause to consider the brevity of life here, especially for children, many of whom don’t even make it to their fifth birthday. I know that I have never given public praise to God that I am still alive and didn’t die through the week. I just don’t expect to, at least not yet. Yet because life is harder here, these children can appreciate that it is God who gives and sustains life. They’ve learned a lesson that I have yet to learn.

I’ve also learned much from the wisdom and toughness of Mama, Arlene Brown, who founded and runs Urukundo. She’s an 80 year woman who has sacrificed an easy retirement and a rocking chair in the US to provide a home for 40 orphaned and abandoned Rwandan children. She will stop at nothing to make sure that the children in her care receive all that they need.
Years ago, I read the book by John Piper, “Don’t Waste Your Life”. Arlene, or Mama as we affectionately call her, certainly has not wasted her life, even the last years of her life. I am amazed by her fierce tenacity to care for these children and advocate for them. She is one tough cookie, and is truly the type of woman I would like to become. As I reflect upon what I would like people to say about me when I am 80 years old, I would hope that like Arlene, many children would be able to say, “She showed me love and cared for me when I had no one else.” She is an inspiration to me whenever I think that living in Rwanda is too tough. If a woman in her 70’s can move to Rwanda and start an orphanage, than surely I can muster up the strength to meet the daily challenges of life here.


September 6th, 2009 - Who Am I Anymore?

I’m becoming a woman I don’t recognize anymore. I grew up in suburban New Jersey, ten miles from New York City. None of the women I knew growing up made thing from scratch, sewed, canned or hand washed anything. I grew up around wonderful women but none were of country stock. New Jersey is an all too convenient place where you can get anything you want or need within a five minute drive of your house. It doesn’t make you resourceful at all.

Then I moved to Rwanda. This weekend I spent most of my time at home doing all manner of things I never thought I’d do. I cut and hung two sets of curtains, hand washed and hung my clothes out on a clothesline, cooked a meal using no convenience foods while using the barest minimum of water, made biscuits from scratch, boiled three kettles of water to purify it for drinking and successfully bartered for my mattress and paid a boy needing work to carry it on his head to my house.

My life is a far cry from what it was in New Jersey, yet I suspect it is making me a stronger and more resourceful woman because of it. Next week’s project: Learning to make bagels from scratch. Who says you have to live in New Jersey to get what you want? Now if I could only replicate New York style pizza…..


September 7, 2009 - T-Shirts

Rwanda is home to many fabulous t-shirts, each one having a more hilarious saying on it than the next. One of my favorite pastimes while I’m out and about is to read the t-shirts that I encounter. I suspect most of their owners don’t know what their rather colorful statements mean. Here were two gems from Friday:

“I’m too sexy for my hair, wonder why it isn’t there”. Worn by a man with a full head of hair.
“Yes, I’ll drop everything and solve your problems.”

I love these t-shirts so much that I’m planning my birthday party around them. In two weeks it’s my birthday. I’m throwing a party and asking all of my guests to come wearing the craziest shirt they can find in the market. My hope is to photograph them all and turn them into the pictures for a calendar next year.

Trusting God - Be Careful of What you Pray For!

I find that my faith is taking a new shape here. Some time ago when I was in New Jersey still and struggling through my relationship with Christ I prayed something to the effect of: “Dear God, help me to understand and know what it means to trust you.” Be careful of what you pray for.

I find that I’m beginning to learn what trust means here in Rwanda but it’s not at all in the grand and glorious ways that I expected. Instead I’m learning more to trust Christ for my daily needs and for the next five minutes. More and more I find my prayers going something like this, “Lord, I’m scared to death to take this motorcycle taxi. But I know you’ve called me here and I trust that you will keep me safe. Please bring me to this church without harm.” or, “Lord, I don’t know how in the world I’m going to find the bus that I need to get on to go to this meeting in Kigali. Please show me the way or bring me someone who will help me.” or, “Lord, please keep me safe as I walk home. I know you are capable of bringing me to my house without any harm coming to me.”

Everything is unfamiliar, everything. Some days as I walk back and forth to my Kinyarwanda lessons, or to the market or to my home, there is no one I can talk to, except God. No one would understand me. But as I’m beginning to see, God is able and willing to take care of me and to meet my needs. Often they are needs that span only for the next five to ten minutes. And I find that it is only Christ who can meet those needs. At home I would know what to do in order to meet my own needs: I’d get on MapQuest and get directions to my meeting, or I’d drive my own car so I wouldn’t have to walk in the dark or take a motorcycle to a meeting. But here that’s just not possible. I’m not able to meet my own needs in the ways that I was at home. And in reality, that’s a blessing in disguise. For the first time, I’m having to give up some of my obsessive need for control and to meet my own needs and I have to rely on God and others.


I know that God brought me here for a purpose: He has called me to be a blessing to Rwandan children. Yet, I suspect He has also brought me here to help me to understand what it means to trust in and rely on Him.

Highlights of the First Two Weeks

The Neighborhood Children - The kids in my neighborhood are great! There are a couple of little girls who live near the office who run and give me a hug every time I see them. Then when I go for walks after works it seems that I am the Pied Piper. One evening (before dark) when I was walking, four boys, at least one of whom is a street child, joined me for my "sport" walk, as they called it. We chatted in English and my few words in Kinyarwanda the best I could. As we were nearing the office, Pacifice, my favorite neighborhood boy asked, "Do you have baby?" Of course I answered, "No." A minute later John said, "Do you have children?" Again, I answered, "No." John thought about my answer for a moment and then said, "But we are children." I'm guessing at what he meant, but I think he meant, 'Hey, you could adopt us and we could be your children.' No matter what he meant it was a priceless conversation!

Visit to Takwe- A CDP Community


Yesterday, July 16 I was able to visit one of Child Development Communities. A group of sponsors from the US had come to visit their sponsored children and the community they live it. It was such a blessing to me to be able to meet some of the children that FH's Child Sponsorship Program benefits. I even went on two home visits. One of the sponsors, sponsors two teenagers and we visited with them and their families. I absolutely loved spending time with the children and could see the difference Food for the Hungry's ministry has in their lives. FH has built a school there and does wholistic ministry that benefits the entire community.

My Walks

Rwanda is a strikingly beautiful country. You can't walk more than two steps without seeing an amazing view. They don't call it the Land of a Thousand Hills for nothing! Each evening after work I take a short walk before it gets dark. I've enjoyed getting to know my neighborhood and surroundings better. This evening as my friend Beth, an FH intern and I were walking to a British Volunteer worker's house, there was the most amazing sunset over the mountains. Every day in Rwanda I am struck by the beauty of God's creation.

It has been a good two weeks. I still am acclimating and getting used to the culture. The market still scares me! But overall, I'm adjusting. Please pray for me and my language learning as well as being able to create a life for myself here. Pray also that I make good contacts that will aid me in casting a vision for how I can best serve Rwandan churches and encourage them to reach out to children and meet their needs. Thank you for your prayers and support! You are missed and appreciated!

My First Week

Wow! This week and a half has been full; full of so many wonderful, different and exciting things! It was full of meeting great people, eating new and interesting food, learning new words and phrases, acclimating and understanding Biblical images and concepts in a new way.



My life has been full of meeting wonderful people. I spent my first two days in Kigali at the main FH office, meeting other colleagues. It was great to have the opportunity to meet so many people I'll be working alongside. My favorite moment of meeting my Kigali co-workers was when Hannington, a Ugandan finance manager came up to me and said, "Karen, do you have a story for me?" I was able to use my best New Jersey accent and tell my favorite story about my dad being in the hospital next to a totally out of control, stereotypically Jersey man and his family. There's nothing I love more than imitating accents. Give me a few months and I'll have a Rwandan accent down pat!



I've also enjoyed getting to know my Gitarama teammates a bit better. Christi was such a great help to me. She took me all around Kigali on Tuesday and helped me open up bank accounts, get a cell phone and understand where things are and how to get around. It's been great having Beth and Wes, two summer interns around to take walks around Gitarama with. My favorite walk so far was when we trekked down into the valley and walked past many women farming their tiny plots of land. You would not even believe how strikingly beautiful Rwanda is. I've also enjoyed getting to know the Rwandan staff in Gitarama. Marcelline has been a great help in getting to know what the Child Development Program does. I'm hoping to be able to visit her church with her so I can better understand Rwandan churches and what they do with children.



The expat community in Gitarama is great too! The gang of ten to twelve meet weekly for a movie night and Sunday dinner. Soraya, a VSO volunteer has come over to our kitchen here at the guesthouse a couple of times and cooked desserts with us: avocado ice cream and no-bake cookies. Bruce and my co-worker Tom, hosted a dinner my first night here so I could get to know the community and my c0-workers better.



It's also been a week full of new foods! I've tried melange which is a Rwandan style buffet. It's lots and lots of starchy based dishes like french fries, rice, boiled potatoes, plantains, beans and then some cooked vegetables. Some melanges also have a meat selection. What's so interesting about a melange here is the unlike an American all you can eat buffet, you are only allowed one plate. It's great fun to see Rwandans pile their plates as high as they can!

I've also started formal Kinyarwanda lessons. I have a great tutor Denise and now by my fourth day she already has me doing conjugations. Kinywarwanda is incredibly difficult however! There are 16 different noun classes which means if you want to say this (fill in the blank with a noun) there are 16 different ways to say it depending on the spelling of the noun you are describing. Talk about confusing! But I'm working very hard to learn it and am so excited when I get to use it in the neighborhood.

What has been so great about this first week too is seeing Biblical concepts and ideas that I've read about an known as a child come alive for the first time. Last Sunday two friends and I walked through the valley to a church service in Kigali. I was wearing comfy sandals to walk to church in. There must have been at least three inches of dust at points because it is the dry season here. When we got back to the guest house my feet were dirtier than I think they ever have been in my life! I didn't even want to wash them. Yet that is exactly what Jesus did for his disciples. As I washed my feet I thought about the Son of God washing the feet of the disciples. That God's Son would humble himself to do that blew my mind. I don't think I ever imagined how dirty the disciples feet could have been. Sunday, I realized just how dirty they would have been and what an amazing act of service this was! I pray that I will have a servant's heart like this in Rwanda.

Being in Kigali and staying at the FH guest house there this past weekend also gave me new insight into Christ being the Good Shepherd who lays down his life for his sheep. A lot of homes here have guards who protect the inhabitants from theft. Late on Saturday night, Wes and Nathan, two FH interns and I stayed up late watching The Great Debaters ( a fabulous movie, by the way!) As I crossed the courtyard back to the guest house, I saw Celestin, the FH guard laying down on a mattress, sleeping in the driveway between the two houses. Immediately it brought to mind the image of a Shepherd who lays down at the doorway of the sheepfold in order to protect his sheep. I was reminded of Christ, who is the Good Shepherd and how he was willing and did, sacrifice his life for us, his sheep. I have found being in Rwanda has given me insight into Biblical concepts that I never fully understood before and took for granted.

Overall, it has been a great first week and a half. I can't wait to tell you all soon about my first visit to a Child Development Community. If I have enough internet speed I even hope to upload video footage of some children doing a traditional dance. Thank you so much to everyone who prayed me and supported me here. I am honored to be a part of what God is doing here!

More to come soon!

A Dictionary of my Emotions

Saturday, July 4th I leave for Rwanda. Each night I'm finding it harder and harder to fall asleep as I anticipate this new chapter in my life! There are so many adjectives that could describe how I'm feeling:

Excited: I get to move to Rwanda and share Christ's love with precious children!
Nervous: I'm moving to a country where I don't know the language and only know one person!
Wistful: I think about leaving little things I love: my books, my favorite coffee, my dog
Happy: What I've hoped and prayed for has become a reality!
Sad: I leave behind wonderful friends and family that I won't be able to see (or as easily).
Thankful: Countless supporters and prayer partners have generously given to my ministry.
Contemplative: What will life be like in Rwanda, what struggles and challenges will I face?
Joyful: God has provided so many blessings in my last month and a half...I'm blown away!
Honored: It is such an honor to be joining God's kingdom work in Rwanda.
Avoidant: There are some goodbyes that I just don't want to say: family, my favorite kiddos
Anxious: How in the world will I pack all that I need for three years in three bags?
Anticipating: I can't wait to finally see the country and the people I've talked so much about!

I'm sure as soon as I get to Rwanda, this list of adjectives will stretch even longer!

The Waiting Room of Life

We've all been there: the non-descript and bland decor, rows of chairs facing each other, back issues of magazines, waiting anxiously for your name to be called to end the monotony. A doctor's waiting room. A familiar place to us all. Sometimes life feels like a doctor's waiting room. This past year my life has seemed like a doctor's waiting room.

If you would have told me a year ago that I'd still be in the States I wouldn't have believed you. I would have thought that I'd have been in Rwanda for at least a couple of months. I'd know snippets of Kinyarwanda phrases, I'd have visited all of the Child Development Program communities by now and have started forming friendships and relationships. Yet this is not what God has had in mind. As much as my heart yearns to be in Rwanda there are valuable lessons that I've learned in God's waiting room of life that I wouldn't trade for knowing a few more phrases of Kinyarwanda.

This year of being in the waiting room has taught me much about God's faithful provision. Almost a year ago I ended my teaching contract and thus ended regular, full-time work and a regular paycheck. There were moments in the ensuing year that I had no idea if I'd have the money to pay my health insurance premium for the month or pay another bill. Yet every single month God has provided. Just when the need got critical my phone would ring and a friend or family from church would call and need me to care for their children. Or, one of my temporary agencies would call with a week long job with excellent pay. This past year has been a tangible expression of God's care and provision. For the six months of not having a "regular" job I was constantly anxious and on-edge wondering if I would get by. Now, I don't worry anymore. I know that God has called me to Rwanda and I know He will provide for me until I get there.

Being able to trust and rest in God's provision is a lesson that I definitely needed to learn before I leave for Rwanda. I know life in Rwanda won't be easy. It will be a walk of faith every step of the way. Yet, this year in the waiting room has taught me that God will provide and He is walking with me. If that's what this year of waiting was meant for, then I am thankful for it. However, I am anxiously awaiting when my name will be called and I can step out of the waiting room onto a plane bound for Rwanda!

A Debtor to Grace Alone

I stumbled across the lyrics to this 18th Century Hymn tonight. It's amazing:

A Debtor to Mercy Alone
Agustus Toplady 1740

A debtor to mercy alone,
Of covenant mercy I sing
Nor fear, with Thy righteousness on
My person and offering to bring.
The terrors of law and of God,
With me can have nothing to do.
My Savior’s obedience and blood
Hide all my transgressions from view.

The work which His goodness began
The arm of His strength will complete.
His promise is yea and amen,
And never was forfeited yet.
Things future, nor things that are now,
Not all things below nor above
Can make Him His purpose forego,
Or sever my soul from His love.

My name from the palms of His hands
Eternity will not erase
Impressed on His heart it remains
In marks of indelible grace.
Yes, I to the end shall endure
As sure as the earnest is given
More happy but not more secure
The glorified spirits in heaven.

Yes, I to the end shall endure
As sure as the earnest is given
More happy but not more secure
The glorified spirits in heaven.

Beyond the Gates and Sometimes in April

People often ask me if I've seen Hotel Rwanda and if I can recommend any other movies about the genocide besides it. I've seen two other films that talk about the Rwandan genocide that I appreciate even more. (Though I still recommend seeing Hotel Rwanda as a starting point) Those other two movies are Beyond the Gates and Sometimes in April

Beyond the Gates

Beyond the Gates is a British film telling the story of a teacher and a priest who ministered in Rwanda and who chose not to evacuate as the genocide began. They take drastically different paths as the effects of the genocide ensue. What I appreciate so much about this movie is that it doesn't leave you with the "warm fuzzies" after seeing it. Paul Rusassebagina was a wonderful man, who saved so many peoples' lives, but after seeing Hotel Rwanda you feel a sense of closure and neatness to the whole story (Probably because this is a Hollywood produced film). However, in Beyond the Gates, you are left with more questions than answers at the end of the film which is a response more true to the genocide.

Please read the review from Rotten Tomatoes below for a good synopsis of the film:
Joe Connor has come to teach in Rwanda because he believes he can make a difference. When the school becomes a haven for thousands of Rwandans fleeing the genocide, Joe promises his brightest... Joe Connor has come to teach in Rwanda because he believes he can make a difference. When the school becomes a haven for thousands of Rwandans fleeing the genocide, Joe promises his brightest pupil, Marie, that the UN soldiers will protect her from the hordes of extremist militia baying for blood outside the school. But when the UN abandon the refugees, Joe and the school's headmaster, Father Christopher, face an agonising dilemma: should they leave or should they stand firm with the Rwandans. As the UN trucks force their way through the terrified refugees, Joe stares at the tear-stained face of Marie: what should he do? What would you do? Based on real events and filmed at the actual location where this story took place, Beyond the Gates is directed by Michael Caton-Jones and stars John Hurt and Hugh Dancy. It is an emotionally gripping, authentic and powerful recreation of a tragic real life story that took place during the Rwandan genocide in 1994. --© IFC Films

Sometimes in April

Sometimes in April is the story of two brothers and their very different response during and after the genocide. What I appreciate about this film is its portrayal of how wide reaching the genocide was in Rwandan society. It makes a point of portraying all who were involved in the genocide.

Please read the interesting synopsis from Rotten Tomatoes below:
HBO pushes the envelope once again with this dramatization of the brutal events that befell the citizens of Rwanda in April 1994. Director Raoul Peck shot the bulk of the picture in Rwanda, adding an incredible feeling of poignancy to his film by revisiting many of the sites where the unthinkable acts of genocide occurred. Peck focuses his cameras on two Hutu brothers, a military man and a DJ. The Hutu's were responsible for the estimated 800,000 deaths of their Tutsi countrymen during this period; the violence was sparked when Rwandan president Juvenal Habyarimana--also a Hutu--was killed after his plane was shot down on April 6th. As the gruesome events unfold, the two brothers lives are immeasurably changed in ways they never thought possible. Hard hitting and not afraid to depict many of the graphic scenes of violence that exploded across Rwanda during this dark chapter in Africa's history, SOMETIMES IN APRIL is a courageous, brave piece of filmmaking that stands alongside Terry George's HOTEL RWANDA as an important document of a tragic time.

If you want to understand more about the Rwandan genocide do watch Hotel Rwanda but then watch one of these lesser known films. Surely they will impact you.

Drink Coffee Do Good

Anyone who reads my newsletter on a regular basis knows about my passion for coffee. My newsletter is even entitled, "Coffee With Karen." I've encouraged my friends and supporters to pray for me and the country of Rwanda over their morning coffee. If you do drink a morning cup of Joe, there is a way to do good with each cup of coffee that you drink.

I'd like to introduce you to the Thousand Hills Coffee Company. This coffee company was started by a visionary pastor who wanted to do good in the country of Rwanda through Americans' daily routines. Thus, the Thousand Hills Coffee Company was born. Thousand Hills harvests coffee beans in Rwanda, providing Rwandan coffee growers with a livable wage and the means to support their families. The coffee is then exported, roasted and sold at Thousand Hill's Georgia location, at churches around the country and on their website.

I've excerpted the following from their website, "Every bag purchased provides a rural farmer with a proper Living Wage and the dignity and self respect that comes from providing for oneself. In 2004, Land of a Thousand Hills committed to paying at minimum of $1.26 per lb. to the grower for their finest coffee, more than three times the unjust 40 cents often paid by other coffee companies. Currently, the growers are consistently paid an average of $1.86 per lb.Land of a Thousand Hills also invests one dollar per 12 oz. bag sold to fund micro-finance programs that help Rwandans start small businesses. Approximately $3 total per 12 oz. bag is invested in the Rwandan economy. "Drink Coffee. Do Good."

Thousand Hills Coffee has several different options of delicious Rwandan coffee on their website as well as come incredibly yummy looking espresso chocolate bark that I think I'm going to have to order and try! I'm also going to order a sample package of four of their most popular coffees. Go ahead, invite yourself over for coffee at my place!

Check out Thousand Hills Coffee at http://www.landof1000hills.com/

Great Photojournalism Work on FH Global Website

I just received news that one of my colleagues in Rwanda, along with a great team, has done some incredible photojournalism and video work all throughout Africa. I'd like to highlight some of their work in Rwanda and invite you to visit this incredible website, housed on the FH Global website.

Please read the story of Boniface, a child impacted by Food for the Hungry's work in his hometown of Kanyinya, Rwanda. Read Boniface's story at:

http://www.fhglobal.org/explore/shielded.php

You can also read the incredible story of Bertin, a man who lost both of his legs during the genocide. The story, "Walking Again" tells the tale of how the small business initiatives of Food for the Hungry greatly impacted his life. Read Bertin's story at

http://www.fhglobal.org/explore/walking_again.php

You can also see a video chronicling Food for the Hungry's work with children in Rwanda. View the video at:

http://www.fhglobal.org/explore/media_led_by_children.php

Please take the time to check out all of the wonderful photos, videos and information at FH Global's website at http://www.fhglobal.org/